Use the Force, Kurt Hummel!
by OoZolaoO
Summary: SW/Glee x-over. Kurt & Blaine didn't expect their movie night to turn into an adventure to a galaxy far far away. But that's no problem. Klaine can handle anything...even saving the world. Too bad Finn's along for the ride. Klaine, Brittana. Fic swap!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Oh gracious, please don't judge me. I wrote this gem for a Tumblr fic swap a few weeks ago. Funnily enough, the more I got into it, the more fun I started having. Sprinkling in a fair amount of Kluddles helped, of course.

So, here's chapter one of my infamous Glee-Star Wars crossover, hesitantly entitled **USE THE FORCE, KURT HUMMEL!**

I don't own Star Wars or Glee.**  
><strong>

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><p><strong>CHAPTER ONE: ORDINARY DAY<strong>

_just a day,_  
><em> just an ordinary day<em>  
><em> just trying to get by<em>  
><em> just a boy,<em>  
><em> just an ordinary boy<em>  
><em> but he was looking to the sky<em>

_ and as he asked if I would come along_  
><em> I started to realize<em>  
><em> that every day, he finds<em>  
><em> just what he's looking for,<em>  
><em> like a shooting star, he shines. <em>

"Ordinary Day" - Vanessa Carlton

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><p>Kurt had learned much about the Habits of Finn since their parents had moved in together. For one thing, Finn rarely walked. He thundered.<p>

"Brace yourself," Kurt mumbled to Blaine as a small herd of elephants began to descend the stairs. He continued to toy lazily with his fingers. Blaine chuckled softly in his ear before placing a gentle kiss to the side of his neck.

"Kurt, have you seen -" Finn abruptly screeched to a halt, seeing the two cuddled together on Kurt's bed. "Oh. Uh, hey Blaine."

"Hey, Finn," Blaine replied calmly, twining his fingers through Kurt's. Finn shot a look back up the stairs.

"Does, uh -"

"Burt knows I'm here," Blaine answered with a disarming smile. He threaded his arms around Kurt's waist and rested his chin in the hollow of his collarbone. "And besides, he's at the garage right now." Kurt blushed happily as Blaine's voice hummed against him.

Finn shot another glance up the stairs. "We're home alone?"

Kurt replied with a shadow of an eye-roll. "Finn, we've alone for the past three hours. Have you seriously been on Halo this whole time?"

"Yep." Finn glanced back to the two boys. "Have you seen my other Xbox live headset? Puck's coming over in a few minutes."

"I don't even know what that is," Kurt deadpanned.

"I'll take that as a no." Finn glanced around the room anyways. "Okay – um, have fun." He beat a hasty retreat up the stairs again.

Blaine's laugh ghosted across Kurt's neck. "Typical brotherly awkwardness. Gotta love it."

Kurt pulled away to look Blaine in the eye. "Please, you know as well as I do that he doesn't like seeing two guys…snuggling." He colored a little on the last word.

"Pssh." Blaine pulled him back to his chest. "Finn's not a homophobe. You're too hard on him." His fingers wound through Kurt's hair, gently threading through the immaculate strands. "Think: how would you react if you walked in on Finn and Rachel, or Finn and Quinn?"

"I would run the other way, then dunk my eyes in Lysol." Kurt shivered. "…oh. I think I see your point."

"Exactly." Blaine placed a soft kiss on Kurt's ear. "Typical brotherly awkwardness."

"You're always right." Kurt leaned back against Blaine with a sigh.

The two Warblers sat in companionable silence until the front door slammed upstairs. Kurt winced.

"That'll be Finn again." He slowly disentangled himself from Blaine. "Mind if I go say hello to Puck? I haven't seen him since – um, in a while." _Since Rachel's house party disaster_, he added mentally. Blaine stretched his arms over his head.

"I'll come too. We can grab some food from the kitchen before Finn and Puck clean everything out."

Kurt shot him a shy smile and leaned in for a chaste kiss on the lips before scampering upstairs.

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><p>"Hey, Puck," Kurt called from the kitchen. Noah Puckerman threw a salute from the door.<p>

"Sup, Hummel, long time no see." He shrugged out of his rain jacket, leaving it in a heap on the floor.

"Hi, Puck!" Blaine slipped into the kitchen after Kurt, leaning casually against the counters.

"That's Blaine," Finn narrated from the foyer. "You know, from Rachel's that time."

Puck shrugged. "I was so drunk that night I don't even know whose house I was at. Sup, Kurt's friend."

"_Boy_friend, actually," Blaine added. He grinned as Kurt turned pink.

Puck stopped. "Whoa, so this is sexy-gay-singer-dude?" He looked him over. Blaine chuckled.

"You're three for four," he replied with a modest shrug.

Finn looked confused. "Wait-"

He was interrupted as the front door slammed open again, admitting a slightly-soggy Santana. "Hey, bitches," she called without looking. "Puckerman, you'd better pay me for gas, or I'm hauling your sorry ass back to Lima, pronto."

"Dude, Finn lives like ten minutes away!" Puck threw up his hands. "What, you want me to give you a whole freaking _quarter_?"

But Santana wasn't listening. Her eyes had reached Blaine, and a smile crept onto her face. "Is this who I think it is?"

Kurt let out a strangled moan, and Blaine proudly slung his arm around his shoulders in response. Santana arched an eyebrow.

"Nice catch, Hummel. Wanky wanky." She threw them a sly wink. "I'd tap that."

"How's _Brittany_, Santana?" Kurt shot back, now beet red. He felt a sense of dull triumph as Santana's eyebrows snapped together and she turned from them.

"Dude, why'd you bring _Star Wars_?" Finn cut in, oblivious to the mounting tension. He held up a battered copy of _Attack of the Clones_ that had fallen out of Puck's jacket.

Puck retrieved it with a puzzled expression. "I dunno, I guess I left it -"

Everything went dark. Or maybe it exploded. Kurt couldn't really tell. Gigantic, silent fireworks flashed behind his eyes, collapsing in on themselves like dying stars. Shadowy wings swept through orbiting halos of light. And then there was the bass – the ubiquitous, thrumming sonic force that swelled like a tidal wave, crashing over Kurt and filling him with agonizing pulsations. And then as suddenly as it had begun – the lights, the images, the sounds – it vanished.

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><p><strong>AN: **Huzzah, cliffie! We'll find ourselves in a galaxy far, far away in chapter two - keep reading!

Also, I'm on Tumblr! I reblog tons of Glee (mostly Darren Criss - I'm not gonna lie), and I write drabbles! You can find me at **butterflyklisses.**

**Also - WHO'S READY FOR BORN THIS WAY? I KNOW I AM.  
><strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** remember, review review review! At least I know I have one reader :D Hello tipsu, thanks for the alert! 3

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><p><strong>CHAPTER TWO: IS THIS REAL LIFE?<strong>

Kurt was lying face-down on something knobby, something painful. He rolled over, wincing as the object dug into his ribs, and opened his eyes to an intricate canopy of branches arching overhead.

His first thought: _why the hell am I under a tree?_ Second: _lying on tree roots = pain, got it. Move. _And finally: _panic. Where's Blaine?_

Kurt stumbled woozily to his feet, leaning on the giant tree he had somehow wound up besides.

"Blaine?" he called out hesitantly. What was going on?

"Kurt?"

He was a little disappointed when it was Finn who moved into view, holding a hand to his back and limping slowly. "Finn!" Scratch that, Kurt was happy to see any familiar face. He dragged his aching and disoriented body towards Finn. "Wh-What's going on?"

"Beats me," Finn shrugged, then winced and rolled his shoulders. "Ow. I was sleeping on a rock, I think."

Kurt had opened his mouth to reply when his fashion sense kicked in. "Good lord, Finn Hudson, what are you _wearing_?" He stepped back. Finn looked down at his clothes in surprise. His jeans and football jersey of before had been replaced by khaki long-sleeved army fatigues and thick brown hiking boots. There was even an odd-looking canteen strapped to his belt.

"Huh," Finn commented after a moment. "I… don't remember putting these on."

Kurt glanced down at his own outfit. He certainly hadn't been wearing black skinny jeans and a black form-fitting turtleneck earlier in the day, but he wasn't complaining too much. Now, if only he could find Blaine…

"Whoa, Finn, what up with the army get-up?" The Hudson-Hummel boys looked up with a start to see Puck making his way towards them, dodging fallen logs and overgrown bushes. Kurt took a second look around. Where on earth _were_ they?

He had woken up on the roots of a massive tree centered in some sort of forest clearing. Smaller trees ringed the glade, competing with scruffy bushes and other tough-looking plants. The sun filtered down through the branches above, painting glimmering puddles every few yards.

"Anyone know where we _are_?" He tried again, looking back to the boys. Puck was wearing an outfit similar to his, but he sported a wife-beater instead of a turtleneck.

"Nope," Puck replied, while Finn suggested, "Looks like a forest."

Kurt bit back a scathing retort. "Okay, what were we doing before we ended up here? Anyone set off an LSD bomb or get us all high on some other hallucinogen or something?"

"It wasn't me…but that's a good idea." Puck pursed his lips thoughtfully.

"Wait, okay." Thankfully Finn was snapping into action. He began to pace anxiously, all stiffness forgotten. "So we were at our house, right? Puck was coming over to play COD-"

"And Blaine and I were downstairs," Kurt added, ignoring Puck's eyebrow wiggle.

"I just got there, remember? Santana dropped me off 'cuz my car's shot," Puck contributed. "We were all in the front of your house."

"Well if _we're_ here…" Finn paused, chewing on his lip.

"We're over here!" Blaine's voice rang out cheerily, and the three boys turned to see Blaine and Santana entering the clearing from the other side. Kurt happily ran to meet him, throwing himself at Blaine and hugging him fiercely. Puck wolf-whistled, and Santana raised an eyebrow.

"What, no greeting for me?" She demanded, cocking her hip out.

"Are you guys okay?" Kurt asked, pulling back from Blaine. He knew he was blushing like an idiot.

"Yeah, definitely," Blaine smiled, ruffling Kurt's hair affectionately. "Santana and I woke up in a smaller clearing a few hundred yards in that direction-" he pointed in the direction they had come from, "—and waffled about for a few minutes before we heard you guys talking."

"We've decided we're dreaming," Santana informed the boys. "Or, at least, one of us is."

"Like in _Inception_?"

"Oh god, I hope not," Finn groaned. "I was _so_ confused during that movie."

"You're not the only one," Blaine commented darkly. Kurt stepped back to check out Blaine and Santana's clothes – like Puck and the Hudson-Hummels, their clothes from earlier had disappeared.

Blaine was impressive in a leather vest over a fitted dark top and slim dark pants. Upon closer inspection, Kurt saw that the vest was composed of several sturdy plates, almost like a breastplate in a set of armor. Blaine returned his wide-eyed gaze.

"You look…nice," he whistled silently.

Kurt colored. "You look-"

"Super sexy," Santana purred, eyeing Blaine appreciatively. Kurt swatted her on the shoulder.

"Eyes off my man, darling," he joked lightly, but the steel in his eyes showed he meant business.

"Talk about super sexy, Santana, you're smokin'," Puck cut in, cocking an eyebrow. Santana struck a pose before relaxing with an almost shy smile.

"Yeah, I kinda like it." Her response was surprisingly demure. Kurt spared her a second glance. She too wore black, form-fitting clothing: a sleeveless top and tight pants accented by odd bits of leather.

"You look like a dominatrix," Kurt commented dryly, moving to put his arm around Blaine's waist. The curly-haired tenor leaned happily against him.

"Aw, man, why am I the only one who doesn't look sexy?" Finn burst out, indicating his Jungle-Joe attire.

"Story of your life, man." Puck clapped a hand on his shoulder in what he thought looked like a sympathetic manner.

"Okay, if we're all done comparing clothes, can we figure out where we are?" Blaine suggested, craning his neck to look at the trees above them.

"We're _dreaming_, prep boy, it doesn't matter where we are," Santana drawled.

"Even if we are dreaming, I'd like to check out what else there is around here." Puck cracked his knuckles. "Maybe find a babe or two."

Finn perked up at the thought of finding babes. "Who's leading, then?"

"Well, you're always taking charge anyways," Kurt grumbled. "Might as well lead the pack in our dreamscape as well."

"Why don't we just all walk together instead?" Finn looked rather uneasy at the thought of forging through an unknown wilderness without at least having Rachel at his side.

"Oh, for Christ's sake," Santana snapped. "Come on, boys, let's roll." She threaded her arm through Kurt's elbow and tugged the two Warblers along with her as she set out in a completely random direction.

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><p>"Was I seriously thinking this was going to be fun?" Blaine muttered in Kurt's ear. When Kurt turned to look at him, he pulled a face.<p>

"I wasn't," he replied flatly. "Lost in the woods with Finn? I've had better dreams."

"Hey, you're also lost in the woods with _me_," Blaine replied, cheesily shoving his nose against Kurt's neck in a badly-executed attempt at a nuzzle.

"Nuzzling doesn't work while we're walking," Kurt muttered back, but he was smiling.

Santana had tired of drawing the couple along after a few minutes and had dropped back to chat with Puck, who was treating the whole escapade rather lightly. Finn, on the other hand, had gone quiet – Kurt recognized thinking!Finn, an odd variety that didn't usually crop up when they were at home.

Kurt turned his eyes back to the scenery. They'd been walking for at least fifteen or twenty minutes, but nothing had really changed. They passed trees, stepped over little creeks, and dodged massive boulders in oddly repetitive patterns. It was like they were stuck on some sort of loop.

"This is a really boring dream," Puck declared, unknowingly echoing Kurt's thoughts.

Finn broke the silence next. "I wonder if we…"

He trailed off, and when he didn't continue his sentence, Kurt glanced back to check on him. Oddly enough, Finn was gone.

"Finn?" He spun around so quickly his neck cramped. "Puck, Santana, where did Finn go?" He rubbed his neck with a wince.

Puck looked surprised. "Nowhere, he's right-" He turned, and stopped. "Wait, where's Finn?"

"Did you not _notice_ him vanish?" Kurt's voice was rising as panic began to bubble inside of him. Dream or not, he didn't like his brother disappearing on him…and something told him that this wasn't an ordinary dream.

"No, I swear, he was right here!" Puck whirled around, as if hoping to catch Finn hiding behind one of the many trees.

"Santana's gone too!" Blaine noticed, and Kurt whirled to see that the Latina had vanished when their backs were turned.

"Not funny, Santana!" Kurt yelled out. There was no response. He gulped.

"Blaine -" His boyfriend wordlessly took his hand, gently twining his fingers through his. Kurt clutched him tightly.

"Dude, this is weird," Puck muttered. He kept glancing over his shoulder as if waiting for someone to sneak up on them.

"Shh, listen!" Blaine's hiss made Kurt jump, and they fell silent.

"I don't hear anything," Kurt breathed back after a moment, straining to hear what had caught Blaine's attention.

"That's what's weird," Blaine replied, his voice low. "There were birds and stuff a few minutes ago. And now there's nothing."

Puck began to hum the first few bars of the _Jaws_ theme under his breath, and Kurt swatted him with a hissed "_Shut up!"_

A loud crash not unlike a tree falling broke the tense silence, and Kurt squealed as a booming voice rang across the clearing. "_**HALT!**_"

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><p><strong>BORN THIS WAY IN LESS THAN 7.5 HOURS. HOLY CHEESUS I AM EXCITED.<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Okay, seriously, I absolutely adore you guys. THANK YOU for reading this craziness! It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside - seriously, I get more excited when this fic gets alerts than any of my others. So much love.

THANK YOU again to the lovely **tipsu** for your review! :D You get the cookies of the chapter. Huzzah!

In addition, I'd like to send love and kudos to **mayoi-hime**, **Dalilah Aurinko, **and **cutiegirl240**, my best beloveds who put this on alert! I love my readers :)

And BECAUSE I love y'all so much, this chapter is a bit longer than the others. Hopefully it'll tide you over for a while - it will be a little while 'till the next chap, just giving you a heads up. But reviews and alerts always make me write faster ;)

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><p><em><strong>Last time on USE THE FORCE, KURT HUMMEL!<strong>_**...**

_A loud crash not unlike a tree falling broke the tense silence, and Kurt squealed as a booming voice rang across the clearing. "__**HALT!**__"_

**CHAPTER THREE: DREAMING, YOU ARE NOT**

"_We're halting!_" Kurt's voice was shrill, and he threw his hands up in the air like someone at riflepoint. Blaine's heart raced as half a dozen forms broke through the trees – they _were_ at riflepoint!

"Chillax, dudes, it's a dream, remember?" Puck whispered as he too put up his hands. "We can take these guys, no problemo."

The figures stepped into the light of the clearing, and Blaine's fear quickly gave way to confusion. "Are those…_Stormtroopers_?" He demanded, furrowing his brow.

"_Is this some kind of __joke_?" Kurt burst out. He made a move to stalk towards the white-armored soldiers surrounding them. They quickly raised their weapons and barked out a warning. Kurt froze.

"I don't think anyone's laughing, Kurt," Blaine replied uneasily. Only Puck kept from shrinking away as two Stormtroopers came forward and tethered their hands behind their backs.

"Dude, watch the wrists," he complained half-heartedly as the beefy men bound his arms together. "Relax, okay?" He added at a whisper to Kurt and Blaine. "It's a _dream_."

But Kurt couldn't keep from trembling as the Stormtroopers marched them deeper into the forest.

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><p>Kurt was relieved when the Stormtroopers dumped them unceremoniously in a hut with Finn and Santana, though the group was immediately hauled out again.<p>

"Do you have any idea what's going on?" Santana hissed. Kurt was surprised to see the beginnings of panic in her eyes.

"Oh, yeah, we just ran into these guys in the woods and had them tie us up, y'know, for fun," he hissed back. The Stormtroopers nudged them into a line with the muzzles of their rifles, eyeing them with vague interest. Santana especially was getting the look-over; a few of the men took an inordinate amount of time in adjusting her position in the line.

"Hands off, okay?" she finally snapped, jerking backwards. Kurt knew she would have slapped them if her hands hadn't been tied.

"Commander Uloy?"

The Stormtroopers leapt to attention as their yellow-helmeted leader snapped into a salute.

"Yes, sir!" He turned away from the captive group towards someone Kurt couldn't see. "We apprehended this suspicious-looking group wandering in circles near one of our forest bases and felt we should bring them in for questioning, sir."

"Wonderful. You may leave us." The voice was rough and age-cracked. Kurt identified the speaker as an older gentleman – was he some sort of general?

"S-Sir?" Commander Uloy paused.

"You and your men may leave us, Commander Uloy. Speak with them, I will."

"Yes, sir." Uloy didn't look happy, but he and the group of Stormtroopers faded away.

"Well, well, well." The mysterious voice chuckled.

Finn whirled. "Who said that?"

The voice chuckled again. "Down here."

Kurt lowered his gaze…and his jaw immediately dropped. To his right, Blaine was having a similar reaction – his eyes were bugging out of his head. Puck looked amused, and Santana cursed in Spanish. Finn looked like he was about to have a hernia.

And as Kurt glanced back at the speaker, he saw that Yoda was grinning.

"Surprised, are you?" The Jedi master leaned on his gnarled walking stick. "Expecting you so soon, I was not."

"You were expecting us?" Kurt was the first to regain his voice – because holy shit, _Yoda_? The weirdest part was he still didn't feel like he was dreaming. Other than the random Star Wars inserts, this dream was completely realistic.

Yoda chuckled. "Yes. Part of a prophecy, you are – the travelers from another time. You are familiar with me, are you not?"

"Dude, hell yeah!" Puck went for a fist-bump before remembering his hands were tied. "Yoda's, like, a total badass."

"We were…prophesized?" Blaine cleared his throat. "Like…" He trailed off.

Santana broke into a strangled laugh. "We're not even _here_, you guys, remember? _Dreaming_?"

"Dreaming you are not, young Santana," Yoda began to hobble down the length of the line. "Taken from your time, you were, temporarily. Because need of you, I have."

"I forgot how much I hate how he talks, though," Puck commented to Finn out of the side of his mouth.

"Why do you need _us_?" Finn finally spoke. "We're not Jedi or – or – or shock troopers or anything."

"There you are wrong, young Finn," Yoda commented, stopping in front of the teen towering over him. "Upon being brought to our time and place in the universe, given skills, you were."

"Like Jedi skills?" Puck was overjoyed.

"Some of you," Yoda replied vaguely, shifting his gaze down the line. "And some of you other skills were given."

"Isn't this kind of unfair, since we know what happens and everything?" Blaine broke in. "I mean, I'm not a total Lucas geek or anything, but I've seen the movies a few times. I know that Annakin betrays the Force and becomes Dark Vader."

"Whoa, do we get to meet Dark Vader!" Puck crowed. "This just gets better and better!"

Yoda silenced them with a wave of his hand. "Vadar has not yet come to pass," he croaked, a distant pain shimmering in his eyes. "In the midst of the Clone Wars, we are."

A bolt of panic shot through Kurt. "Wait – Mr. Yoda, sir, the clones go bad! Chancellor Palpatine converts them to the Dark side, and they eventually become the Stormtroopers, for the Empire!"

Blaine glanced at him, eyebrows raised appreciatively. "I didn't know you knew _Star Wars_," he murmured, his eyes glimmering.

Yoda didn't seem to hear Kurt's outburst. "Disrupt the timeline, you will not," he began to make his way back down the line again, "but help us, you must. We have need of your skills at this point in time."

"And after you're done with us?" Santana's voice trembled a little, and she swallowed. "Do we get to go back home?" Kurt shot her a glance. He would have bet his entire wardrobe she was thinking of Brittany – _he_ knew that soft look.

Yoda nodded. "Return you to your time, I will. But be careful, you must – though this is not your native time, injured – or killed - you may be." He glanced across what Kurt recognized now as the courtyard of a command outpost. "Business I have, but return to your tent, you may. I will send someone for you shortly, to brief you on your mission, I will." He turned and began to stump away.

"Wait, what mission?" Blaine called after him, but he ignored them, humming softly under his breath.

"What a nut-job," Puck murmured fervently, but there was admiration in his eyes.

"I don't understand what he meant, about not disrupting the timeline," Kurt mused aloud as Blaine pulled him back towards the tent. He glanced back to see the others trailing wordlessly behind them.

"I have a theory." Blaine licked his lips in thought before turning away from Kurt. Dozens of Stormtroopers – _clone_ troopers, Kurt corrected himself – patrolled the area, casually looking up at the sun or chatting with each other over an odd-looking card game.

Blaine cleared his throat and cupped his hands to his mouth. "_Chancellor Palpatine is the Sith Lord!_" he boomed, startling Santana and Finn. Not one clone trooper turned to look at him. Blaine tried again. "_Annakin becomes Darth Vader!_" Still nothing.

"Huh," Blaine pondered aloud, clearing his throat again. He cupped his hands to his mouth once more. "_The sky is blue today!_" he yelled a third time. Every clone trooper within earshot turned to stare. One of them yelled back, "_Yes, it is!_" to the chuckles of his comrades. Blaine waved cheerfully.

"That's what I thought," Blaine mused as the five of them ducked into the surprisingly roomy tent. "Any spoilers just…filter out. They don't hear them."

"Well that's good to know," Puck grumbled, sinking onto the floor with a thud. "I can't _believe_ I don't get to meet Darth Vader. Now _that's_ a badass."

"Vader could eat you for breakfast and still go back to snack on Finn," Santana said, sitting next to Puck. "Thank god we landed in the Clone Wars."

"Thank god Puck didn't bring his copy of _Disturbia_ instead of Star Wars," Kurt huffed. Blaine threaded his arm around his waist and squeezed him softly.

"You guys, what are we going to _do_?" Finn moaned, throwing up his hands in frustration. "We're in freaking _Star Wars_. This – this -"

"I think his brain's short-circuited," Blaine whispered to Kurt as Finn continued pacing, ranting almost incoherently. Kurt smiled in response.

"We do what we can," Santana replied lightly. The boys looked at her, startled. She glanced up and met their eyes proudly. "What?"

"Since when are _you_ the positive one around here?" Puck snarked, cocking his head. To their surprise, Santana blushed a little.

"I get bitchy when I'm uncomfortable, okay?" she shot back. "And at least we know what we're supposed to do here."

"I just wanna know who has Jedi powers," Puck mumbled to himself, drawing his knees to his chest.

The rest of the evening passed without excitement. Yoda returned to their tent after a little while to chat with them, but no one had much to say. After an hour or so of chatting in the tent, Finn and Puck wandered off to check out the card games, and Santana disappeared elsewhere, leaving Blaine and Kurt alone in the tent.

"Snuggle time?" Blaine cocked his head endearingly, looking so much like a puppy that Kurt had to laugh.

"Did you even have to ask?" he smiled, moving forward to let Blaine wrap himself around him.

"Lean back," Blaine breathed, and Kurt relaxed onto his chest.

"You know what?" Kurt whispered after a moment or two. Blaine hummed against him in response. "I'm okay with being stuck in Star Wars," Kurt decided aloud.

"Really?" Blaine sounded sleepy, and Kurt smiled affectionately.

"As long as I have you with me," Kurt purred, "I'm okay with anything." Blaine chuckled and pressed his lips to the soft skin under each of Kurt's ears, and the two puzzled together happily.

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><p><strong>Kluddles ftw! Glee tonight too :)<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** thanks to muffin97 for reminding me about this story, haha. and holy CRAP, thanks so much to all of you guys who've been reading this madness! I get so happy when I read your reviews and see your alerts. You guys are the best! I love writing cracky stuff like this - sometimes I just need a little prompting, haha.**  
><strong>

I don't own Glee, but I am secretly George Lucas. I just write fanfiction because I want to be Ryan Murphy.**  
><strong>

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><p><strong>CHAPTER FOUR: THESE TIMES THEY ARE A-CHANGIN' <strong>

Kurt and Blaine sank to the ground of the tent without letting go of each others' hands. Puck snorted.

"Are y'all trying to prove that guys can get preggers?" He leaned back, chewing on a piece of grass.

Blaine's eyebrows shot up. "_What_?"

Puck seemed pleased to have everyone's attention. Finn cleared his throat uncomfortably and made a show of looking up at the sky. Kurt knew what was coming next. He followed Finn's gaze to the clouds overhead and tried not to blush.

"Well you're certainly eye-sexing enough over there." Puck shrugged his shoulders innocently. Blaine swallowed a splutter and turned beet-red.

"Leave the lover-boys alone, Puckerman," Santana sighed, sinking wearily to the ground on Kurt's other side. "Commander Uloy's coming to talk about this 'mission' we're supposed to take care of."

"Who _is_ this Commander Uloy anyway?" Finn grumbled. "He's totally not in the movies."

Kurt glanced up as Blaine gave his hand a squeeze. "You okay?" his boyfriend asked softly. "You've been really quiet all morning."

Kurt rolled his shoulders as if trying to loosen them. "Yeah, I guess. I just had really weird dreams last night." A shiver ran through him.

"I did too," Santana admitted from his left. "They were…weird. Super realistic, but weird."

Blaine shrugged. "We're in a really bizarre situation – I'm sure we're all having crazy dreams." Regardless, he began to rub his thumb in comforting circles on the back of Kurt's wrist.

"Did _you_?" Puck's tone was almost accusatory.

"I was flying an airship-thing, sort of like the Millennium Falcon," Blaine replied a little sheepishly. "But it's totally relevant."

"I was walking through a forest with a blaster." Finn shifted from his position across the tent. "That wasn't all that weird…but I swear when I woke up, I could smell the trees." He rubbed his shins thoughtfully. "And I can totally still feel where I tripped over things."

Kurt remained uncharacteristically silent. Blaine was on the verge of leaning over and gently nudging his worries out of him when Commander Uloy entered the tent in a thunderous flapping of fabric.

"Did you all sleep?" He spoke brusquely, cradling his helmet under his arm. The query should have been touching. Instead Kurt felt a little bit like a piece of machinery being prepped for sale.

The teens stared back at him. Uloy took their silence as agreement. He shifted his weight, looking around the tent a little awkwardly. "Right then," he cleared his throat. "I have orders from Master Yoda to take you all out for training, effective immediately."

Finn and Puck exchanged a look of confusion. "Training for what?" Finn started, while Puck said, "Dude, we don't know how to do _anything_."

Uloy ran his fingers through his dark hair as he looked between the two boys. "Preparation for your mission," he replied, as if the boys had just asked him if grass was green.

"We told you, we don't _have_ any special skills," Santana snapped. "Except, like, singing and being gay."

Blaine shot her a warning glance. "What we're trying to say, sir, is that we're not quite sure what you want us to do. And we're not Jedi," he finished a little lamely.

Uloy shot him a Look. With a capital 'L.' "Master Yoda has informed me that all our needs will be met." His eyes were unreadable. "Please come with me." He stepped aside to hold the tent flap open.

"Why do I feel like that wasn't a request?" Blaine breathed to Santana, who rolled her eyes almost audibly.

* * *

><p>"Hey."<p>

Kurt snapped out of his daze as a soft voice caught his attention. He spun, half-expecting Blaine to be tagging along on his heels again, but his boyfriend was giggling over something with Santana. _He's such a girl_, Kurt thought fondly, before tracking the voice to Finn.

"Is everything all right?" Finn matched his stride to Kurt's as the little group made their way to the "training facilities" – a large field a couple hundred paces from the camp.

Kurt let out a partially-undignified snort. "Yes, why?"

Finn shifted awkwardly. "I dunno, you just, uh, seem kinda quiet, is all."

_Really, Kurt? Now _Finn Hudson_ is noticing that you're out of sorts? Way to be obvious_. "I'm fine, Finn, just tired," he replied, brushing off Finn's concern.

Finn looked relieved. "Oh, okay. Good." But Kurt knew he wasn't totally fooled as he fell back to talk with Puck.

Kurt sighed and let his gaze drop to the ground beneath his feet. His boots crunched over withered patches of grass turned brown by the sun. The earth was parched – Kurt could feel it wheezing under his feet. He licked his lips, suddenly startlingly dry. Kurt shook himself as another shiver ran down his back. What was _wrong_ with him?

He could feel everything around him, from the grass whisking against his heels to the buzzard-like birds wheeling high above and out of sight. Kurt had been feeling a little off ever since they had landed in this godforsaken galaxy far-far-away, and it had only intensified after his dreams the night before.

Kurt had never dreamed about being vapor before. That was way too cheesy and poetic – and not in the _least_ fashionable – and besides, his dreams were either fantasies or nightmares. There was rarely anything in between. But he had spent what felt like _decades_ soaring around as something undefined and open, something that bled a little into everything he touched.

Kurt had woken up feeling slightly nauseous. What was even more alarming was the fact that the sense of "open-ness" hadn't vanished with his dreams. It was like someone had erased some invisible line separating him from the rest of the world, allowing some sort of…exchange. And that's all Kurt could think of to describe it.

* * *

><p>"You want me to do…<em>what<em>?" Blaine stared in horror at the aircraft on the ground in front of him. His instructor, a balding man named Ethrin, rolled his eyes.

"I want you to mow the grass with it. _No_, what do you _think_ I want you to do?" He snapped. "Get in the goddamned cockpit and _fly_ it."

"But…Mr. Ethrin, sir, I really can't - " Blaine started, lowering his gaze politely.

"Don't tell me a standard V-wing isn't good enough for you," the man groused.

"No, it's just - " Blaine bit his lip and broke off, letting his gaze wander around the training fields. He and his friends had been split up immediately upon arrival, and he hadn't seen them since. "Well, for starters, I don't really have a pilot's license."

Ethrin made a low growling sound and gnashed his teeth together. "Come on, sissy boy, we haven't got all day."

The taunt was no different from any of the others, but it hit a nerve in Blaine. His jaw clenched. "Fine then," he replied, uncharacteristically short, and snatched the helmet from the aged pilot.

* * *

><p>Santana let out a frustrated huff and pushed back the limp strings of her sweaty hair for what had to be the twentieth time. "Are you just going to <em>stand there<em>?" She demanded, breathing hard. Lieutenant Judd raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow.

"That was my plan." The twenty-something foot soldier leaned into his hip and examined his nails.

Santana snorted. "You look like Hummel. Ten to one you're gay as a fruitcake as well, huh?"

Judd just looked at her, his pale blue eyes blank and disinterested. Santana growled and pivoted on her heel to storm away. At the very last minute she spun and launched herself at Judd like a wild animal.

The gangly lieutenant waited until she was hanging from his shoulder. His hand came down faster than anything Santana had ever seen; she fell away with a yelp as he delivered a stinging blow to her collarbone, then the back of her neck. Santana lay panting on the ground, immobilized, as Judd stuck his infuriating face into her line of vision.

"Nope," he said, and walked away.

* * *

><p>Puck looked at her and laughed. Colonel Aubrey gave him a look that could have curdled milk.<p>

"It's good to know that babes like you exist in galaxies far, far away," Puck crooned, his lips curling up in what looked more like a leer than anything.

"Yeah, whatever. Let's see if you can fight with anything besides your manhood." Aubrey rolled her eyes. Puck just snorted.

"All right lady luck, come at me." He winked obscenely, and the next thing he knew he was on the ground. Aubrey placed her heel on his chest and smirked down at him in a look eerily reminiscent of Santana.

"Wanna try that again, lover boy? I'll go easier on you this time."

* * *

><p><strong>an2: **So...where's Kurt? How's Finn handling the pressure? FIND OUT NEXT WEEK. because seriously it is my goal to get a chapter up every week, at least until finals and stuff.

come find me on tumblr! my url is butterflyklisses, and my ask is always open for craziness.

ALSO. GLEE TUESDAY.

JUST IN CASE YOU FORGOT

WHICH I TOTALLY DIDN'T

BECAUSE MY FUTURE GIRLFRIEND AND I ARE HAVING A PARTY

CROSS YOUR FINGERS THAT WE FALL DEEPLY IN LOVE


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N;** yeah...I don't really have an excuse :( sorry I'm made of FAIL. anyways, I like this chapter - Blaintana is my favorite nonshippy couple ever. Love writing them.

I still don't own SW or Gleee.

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER FIVE - IN WHICH SANTANA DOES BLAINE'S HAIR<strong>

Puck plopped down next to Santana, scowling.

"Don't talk to me," he huffed, plucking a long blade of grass from the ground and clenching it between his teeth. Santana narrowed her eyes.

"Wait, hold on a moment." Puck tried to duck out of her view, but Santana wrapped her fingers around his chin and forced him to meet her gaze. She dropped her hand, incredulous.

"Okay, I'd like to see the dude they had _you_ training with. Anyone who could dole out a shiner like that had to have more balls than _my_ lame-ass wimp of a guy." She clicked her tongue in annoyance.

"Looks like he managed to beat you up anyways, though," Puck snarked back, nudging a blossoming bruise on Santana's upper arm. She yelped and cuffed him over the head.

"Hi guys," Blaine said glumly, sinking to the ground next to Santana.

"Hey Wobbler," Santana replied, continuing to glare at Puck. Puck pulled the grass out of his mouth, his brows furrowing in confusion.

"Someone's hair is on fire," he said, glancing around with mild curiosity.

"It's me," Blaine replied, crossing his legs morosely under him. "But don't worry, I put it out. Now I'm just all charred."

"At least it wasn't your eyebrows – we would have had a real bushfire going on there," Santana said, scooting over to examine Blaine's hair from behind. "Ooh, yeah, you've got a nice bald patch down here on the edge of your hairline."

"What?" Blaine spluttered, his hand flying to his neck.

"Relax, Blanders, I was kidding." Santana batted him away. She began to comb her fingers through his hair, untangling the singed patches with rough jerks of her wrist. Blaine winced.

"Kurt's going to laugh at me," he moaned, hiding his face in his hands. "He's going to die."

"What did they have you doing anyway, juggling torches?" Puck asked. The tattered brown-green stem poked out of the corner of his mouth as he tilted his head to the sky.

"No, flying fighter jets."

Santana snorted, and Blaine yelped as her hand jerked in his hair. "Really? You got off lucky then."

"You guys don't look all that great either," Blaine protested, yanking away from Santana. She doggedly moved with him.

"If you don't hold still you're gonna _really_ be bald," she huffed, but her hands slowed the tiniest bit.

"My gal – um, my dude was just doing hand-to-hand and crap with me," Puck said. "I knew it all though, so it wasn't a big deal. I kicked ass."

"Is that how you got your shiner, then? You got beat up by a _girl_?" Santana arched an eyebrow sardonically. "Nicely done, Puckerman. That'll do wonders for your rep back home."

"I wish we were back home," Blaine said a little sadly.

"Me too." The three looked up as Finn limped up to their little circle. He lowered himself carefully to the ground, holding his ribs and wincing.

"Am I the only one who didn't get my ass kicked?" Santana demanded, tugging at a particularly singed clump of Blaine's hair. Blaine made a face but remained stoically silent.

"Where's Kurt? I hope he's still, like, in one piece," Finn said.

"I haven't seen him since they split us up," Santana remarked. "Doubt anyone else has either – else Warbler-breath here wouldn't be letting me untangle his steel wool." She yanked at a curl for emphasis.

"That sounds really dirty," Puck commented, as Finn sighed, "I hope he's okay. Burt will kill me if I let him get lost in Star Wars."

"Don't worry, I'm alive," a soft, familiar voice remarked, and the four looked up to see Kurt dragging himself wearily towards them.

Blaine ripped himself away from Santana and all but flung himself at Kurt, only slowing for a breathless "hi" before he wrapped his boyfriend in his arms. Kurt hummed into the embrace.

"Come join the circle, lover boys," Santana drawled, rocking back on her heels and flexing her fingers. "I still have to get crap out of Blaine's hair."

"How was training?" Finn asked. Puck scooted over to make room for Kurt.

"Fine," Kurt folded his legs neatly under him. "Kind of weird."

"You don't look beat up at all," Puck accused, narrowing his eyes. "Were you working with a girl too?" Santana leaned over and flicked him on the shoulder.

"No," Kurt replied, surprisingly demure. Blaine pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.

"They had me flying_, _Kurt. _Flying_. I thought I was going to die," he moaned. "It was awful." Kurt just patted him on the hand.

"Wait." Puck broke in, leaning in to the circle. "So which one of us is the Jedi? They said we'd figure it out as we went along."

"It's not me," Blaine replied at once. "Unless they're taking the whole Luke Skywalker angle, but I feel like they would have given me a lightsaber first."

"It's not me either," Finn said. "I had, like, a blaster and had to run around in the woods. It was weird."

"I just got knocked around by some Tai Chi weirdo," Santana shrugged.

"Same here," Puck admitted. "It sucked."

"Especially since yours was a _girl."_

Puck shot Santana a glare. She smiled sweetly.

"It's me," Kurt said lightly. Blaine was the first one to break the stunned silence that followed.

"Wait…really?" He leaned back a little to look at his boyfriend. Kurt just shrugged.

"_Damn_, Hummel. I wanted to be the Jedi." Puck shook his head.

Finn looked like someone had hit him over the head with a two-by-four. Blaine didn't think Santana's eyebrows could go any higher. "Wait, seriously, it's _you_?" She crossed her arms in disbelief.

Kurt nodded. "I mean…I can-"

"Come with me, if you would please." Blaine craned his neck back to see Commander Uloy standing over them.

"Why?" Puck toyed absently with the stalk of the grass still sticking from his mouth.

"Master Yoda wishes to see you immediately," Uloy replied. "Briefing. For the mission. Now come with me, please."

* * *

><p><strong>an; BUM BUM BUUUUUM.**

don't worry, I have the rest of it outlined out. soooo I just need to get my lazy butt into action and WRITE.

love you guys mucho!


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